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| Cookies. This is normal. I'm not a freak. |
It is days before Christmas.
DAYS.
No kid gifts bought. Well, unless you count a supa-cute Hunger Games bracelet i found on Etsy for my 12yr old.
Etsy.
I even hate the name.
I want it to be Betsy.
Not Etsy.
We are shopping Saturday. My stomach is in knots. KNOTS. Taking care of 5 kids, a husband, inlaws, random people in like a 4 hour window of time...that's going to be insane. Especially because i think you know even though this is planned so Mr. SWAT and i can go together, he is going to shop for our son, while i take on everyone else. And by the time i have finished everyone else, he will still be walking around shopping for son.
Much like wrapping presents night. When i wrap for everyone, stockings, blaa-blaa, and he wraps our son's presents and somehow runs out of tape and wrapping paper. It's amazing.
BUT we do this together. It's our thing. We literally put a sheet up in our livingroom like dorks (for when we wrap each other's stuff), and watch Die Hard. Yes. We do. While wrapping. And i do allllllll the girls, parents, and blaa-blaa. And he does son & me. In the time it takes me to wrap for roughly 40 people.
Now, i realize this is random. But after 3 days of baking cookies and feeling like i'm losing my MIND because of the almost 2yr old, this is about all i can muster. I also felt i deserved a rum and coke before dinner and after only consuming cookies today.
So here we are.
No presents.
A BUTTLOAD of cookies though.
A toddler who won't get OFF me or OFF MY BOOBS.
I have my period.
My house is TRASHED.
Said toddler is literally pulling on my cardigan and screaming bloody murder as i type.
Someone is going to tell me to enjoy theses precious times.
I shall then tell you to enjoy my screaming toddler and please go ahead and try to boob feed her.
I have no funny stories.
No words of wisdom - not that you come here for that anyway.
Just a slightly buzzed Mommy.
Who is sorta stressed out.
Having spaghetti for dinner, water boiling in a pan that i used for quesidillas that i DID NOT WASH, so the pasta is happily dancing with random crumbs.
This is my life this evening.
Topped off with the cherry of, "we're going to Walmart with all 5 kids after dinner".
Be happy you're not me.
Or meet us at WallyWorld and we're tear it up.
I love you and your honesty. You are so funny. Now, can you deliver some cookies my way? I'll have the rum and cherry Cokes on ice for you.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you. I may not be exciting, but good golly i'm honest. :) I would happily share cookies!
DeleteAdd more rum :) Lots more rum.... baby on boobs, screaming, period... Rock the rum girlfriend :)
ReplyDeleteAlways. You are wise. I'm not even really a rum girl, but it'll do the "take the edge off" job sometimes!
Deletewouldn't the rum help put boob-baby to sleep? definitely add more rum.
ReplyDeletedoes putting it in cherry coke make it "red rum"?
Nothing makes that child sleep. It's insane. Though i have never tried giving HER rum and coke. I kid, i kid, i wouldn't do that. But holy crap. Up. All. Night.
DeleteJust skip the cherry coke and drink from the rum bottle. Then rub some rum on the boobage for the boob baby. If you run out of rum, I have wine chilled here. I will share it with you.
ReplyDeleteThis is a glorious plan. But then my husband would probably knock #5 out of the way. Crap.
DeleteWatching Die HArd while wrapping presents? You are now even more awesome to me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband just texted me to say he got his bonus today (we weren't expecting it until January). And it was decent. WHAAAT? We get to buy presents after we pay bills?
I just want a giant bottle of Relax Riesling. And then maybe I'll take your lead and watch Die Hard. :-D My house will still be trashed but I'll be too buzzed to care.
The Big Guy and I watch Die Hard the Saturday night before Christmas. If Christmas is on a Saturday, we watch it Christmas night, after we've had enough of A Christmas Story (which is usually the fifth repeat of it on TBS)and the kids are finally off in bed.
ReplyDeleteCan I fly up and have some cookies? I ask that like I am not making dozens of them starting on Sunday.
Enjoy your four hours of 'physical' kidless time. And slip an extra gift for yourself in the shopping cart.
xoxoxo
I thought you said there was nothing funny in this post...As an outsider, who also deals with little ones climbing, biting, and squeezing my boobs (trying to use them as pull handles to climb up onto my lap before I have the free hands to grab her), I couldn't help but laugh about that comment because it reminded me of my similar situation. It was nice to hear another mother complaining about the same issue.
ReplyDeleteI hope your shopping trip is not as much of a nightmare as I'm picturing in my head for you!! By the way, I've overly impressed with the amount of cookies you've made!! I only wish I had the patience to do that!!! I love homemade cookies, but truly hate the idea of spending all day long in a kitchen to make them.
I'm also like your husband and can't wrap presents worth a dime, and my husband has to wrap all presents for everyone. :) I do, however, do most of the shopping.
My hat is off to you!!! I love your blog!!
Oh my, look at those cookies!!!!!! I'm so coming over!
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe you're going to do all of your Christmas shopping in a 4-hour window. You are superwoman.
It looks like you've already made a tower of Christmas presents. Taxes are going up in January. Your kids can have a box of sugar for Christmas :) I feel your pain minus 4, because I only have one kid, but she's enough to drive me bonkers during the holidays, so...
ReplyDelete