Yeah girls, you in?
Let's do some Mommy-bullying!
It's soooo fun.
Let's decide who has too many kids!
Let's tell someone they should have MORE (you can't JUST have one!)
Let's decide who didn't take time to change a diaper fast enough!
Let's make fun of a Mommy for being too skinny, too fat, or did you SEE her roots?
Let's tell Mommy's to "just take time for themselves" when we don't know that situation or how impossible it is.
Let's solve problems of people we don't even know!!
Let's say, "you just MAKE your KIDS clean it up" and decide that Mommy has no control over her house or family when her kids make messes.
Let's crap on someone for having a messy house, or better yet, for daring to have a clean house.
Let's say,"how dare you scream at or *aaah oh no* spank that child".
Ooh, your kids have TV's in their rooms?
WHOA your kids aren't ALLOWED to watch TV?
You order out dinner? Slacker.
Ugh, you MAKE dinner? Overachiever.
You WORK? I guess you don't care about your kids.
You STAY HOME?? Don't you want a REAL life?
Let's judge personal choices over public, private, or homeschool
Let's fight over formula or breastfeeding.
It's gonna be awesome!
I'm a little irritated today, i guess that's coming through, huh.
I'm so sick of the grown up bullying that goes on. The Mommy attacks. The family attacks.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
This has been on my mind so much, as i see people posting or tweeting things about teaching kids not to bully and how important this is. Then two seconds later, they are doing it to another Mommy. But that's ok when we're adults, right? We're allowed. I'm allowed to say Mrs Duggar is a horrible, selfish, disgusting person for having "too many kids" - in case you wondered, i think they are an awesome family, they seem to be happy, LOVE EACH OTHER, have a great family value system, and i think it's amazing they have always gone without Government assistance - they don't want YOUR money to take care of THEIR children. They are teaching their children you work for what you want. No handouts. I admire the hard work, and i totally get why they would keep having kids. Kids are amazing. Insane, but amazing. So put that in your pipe. - i'll make fun of her hair, her clothes, and decide she's not working hard in any way at all. This attitude of, "I'm better than you because i know when to stop having kids" thing is ridiculous.
WHY DO YOU CARE?? How could it POSSIBLY be affecting your life enough that you want to CHANGE THEIRS.
The Mommy attacks over politics, as though if you have any personal beliefs/concerns, or if you dared to post a link to THAT tv channel, you are now worth nothing, and your opinions are stupid and ridiculous, and you shouldn't be allowed to speak to your children about anything. All i will say about this, is have you ever bothered to notice who is bullying who, who starts name calling? Because i certainly have. Again, so much of the time it's all people that get on the soap box of stopping all bullying. Are you serious? So, let me get this right, if we don't all agree (or i don't agree with you) i'm stupid? But then let's break out the word tolerance...but you can't tolerate a differing opinion? Umm...ok....
Everyone is different. Everyone is passionate about something.
We are all Mommies with kids who have super bad days where we want to just get in that car and drive off. Now, you know full well it would end in a trip running errands where we buy things for our families and come right back, but still. We have good days that outweigh the bad. But to some, if you speak of one bad day, you don't deserve to be a Mom. You're horrible. They smell blood, and come in for the kill.
I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be friends with that person. I want it to stop. Why people think they, in their infinite wisdom, can judge a stranger and sentence them, is beyond me.
You have no idea. You see snippets of life. You see a picture of a moment. You read pieces of days. You don't have the whole story.
Maybe everyone should stop thinking they are Sherlock Holmes and solving the crime of the unfit Mommy, the skinny Mommy, the fat Mommy, the Mommy with "too many kids", the clean house Mommy, the messy house Mommy, the working Mommy, the Stay at home Mommy, or the Mommy who is giving her kids pound cake for breakfast on a snowy day.
Can everyone just play nicely, like we all tell our kids a million times a day?
And hecks-to-the-yes, I am talking to myself as well.
My fat ass gave a cupcake to my kid for breakfast just this weekend. The back half of my house is a pig sty and the front museum quality. I have one kid and that is enough for ME oh and did I mention I'm a single mom with two cats? Let's see who wants to judge me ;) Seriously, I fricking heart you <3
ReplyDeleteI shall not. But i wish i had cupcakes. You are a super hero- i don't know how single moms do it. You're awesome!
DeleteDe-lurking to say "Amen!"
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI'm really disgusted at your intolerance of intolerant people. TOLERANCE!! Ya big frickin' bully!
ReplyDelete(I'm always afraid that someone won't get my sarcasm in comments. So here's the disclaimer: I was being sarcastic and hilarious. Thank you.)
You are awesome :D as always! Thank you! (You ARE sarcastic and hilarious and that is why you're awesome) i love those qualities :)
Deletemama's judging other mama's is a HUGE problem!
ReplyDeleteNow if i say it's mean am i judging mean people? And then that makes me mean??
Deletejudgement is an opinion, but it's HOW you go about sharing that opinion is where things get tricky, right? if your intentions are provide feedback and not be back-stabby then you can say people are mean. but, people are usually pretty harsh in their delivery, which makes them mean in a bad way. i'm rambling...
Deleteand, great post! stand up for what you believe in. it's so great to see and read about!
Deletecheers to you mama!
Thank youu! And yes, it's tricky! I'm down with your rambling:D
DeleteI blame the media. they have stuck their nose so far inside our homes and only "reported" the sensational stuff that they put the idea in everyone's head that we get to judge everyone else's decisions. Some media mogul is rubbing his/her hands together in glee as we all salivate to see what the next ridiculous reality show will be and how much we can poke fun at the people who put themselves out there.
ReplyDeleteIt is just SO easy to sit behind our computers and in our living rooms in front of the TV and throw the snark-sparks and watch the flames rise.
Brilliance. Thank you.
Deletedude I totally want some pound cake now, thanks a lot :) And all I gotta say to this bullying stuff is, as my friend Jay-Z says, you gotta kick that dirt off your shoulder. Go on and brush your shoulders off ;)
ReplyDelete.Yay pound cake! It was. Greek Almond pound cake. I'm sorry. :)
DeleteGuuurrrrllllll, I have 4 young kids who agree with me, Target is not a library...talk away! I was teased enough as a kid, so I stink eye bully Moms to the death when my kids are being, kids. And I'm not above telling a bratty kid off :)
ReplyDeleteOh my word you made me laugh! So true! I really hate when people get mad at kids for being kids!
DeleteOHMYWORD you made me laugh :) I really hate when people get ticked at kids for having the audacity to be kids!
DeleteAMEN!
ReplyDeleteTESTIFY!
DeleteBravo!
ReplyDelete*curtsey*
DeleteSue - I LOVE this post so, so very much. And I fully agree that pound cake is totally a breakfast food, otherwise it wouldn't be on the breakfast menu at Starbucks.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! You're awesome- we should probably eat cake together I feel like it's 100% ok now that you said that about Starbucks!.
DeleteThank you SO much for this post! Sharing, sharing, and sharing some MORE! Love this post & love you!!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are too kind! I'm sure there are a million things i could have said better or worded differently, but hopefully the idea made sense:)
DeleteI don't even have kids, but A-freaking-MEN! I think it's mostly an insecurity thing. Like. Moms should just admit that none of them are totally sure of what they're doing ever. Then maybe they wouldn't be so mean to each other. I know when I have kids I'll be completely clueless, and I'm okay with that.
ReplyDeleteI'm clueless myself:) And this post is pointing right back at me becauuse i need to change myself as well! But i rest assured people will come out of the woodwork to tell me just that soon enough :) Thank you stopping by, girly!
DeleteI'm allowed to say Mrs Duggar is a horrible, selfish, disgusting person for having "too many kids" - in case you wondered, i think they are an awesome family, they seem to be happy, LOVE EACH OTHER, have a great family value system, and i think it's amazing they have always gone without Government assistance - they don't want YOUR money to take care of THEIR children
ReplyDeleteDoesn't that little spill about government assistance seem judgmental to you? You said yourself that you don't know everyone's circumstances. But, it's okay to judge them because they get YOUR tax dollars, right??
I said i thought it was amazing they never have had to use it, and this was in response to conversations i have had where people assume wrongly they are "living off the system".
DeleteThank you for clarifying that. Perhaps it's the wording.
DeleteI was definitely not trying to then offend others with that- it would be the opposite- like you said pot & kettle- of my intentions! It was absolutely in reference to those who say that about that family, or any large families!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Sometimes we all need a reminder of these things. Usually, I'm too busy judging myself as a mom to worry about what other mom's are doing. Unless I'm comparing myself, in which case...I'm must judging myself more. I know, I know. I have issues.
ReplyDeleteAnd, to sarcastic Jenn: I too have this problem. I did, however, see your sarcasm for what it was.
I tear myself apart. I do. I get it. And i feel i have to now add a disclaimer to this entire post to say even more that I KNOW I AM GUILTY OF IT! I want ME to stop too!
DeleteIf I could get my fat ass off the garbage covered sofa, I'd give you a standing ovation. ;) Well said. Now, if you had a sledge hammer, you might be able to pound that message into the offender's heads. Unfortunately, sh*t splatters when you hit it that hard.
ReplyDelete"Do not judge, lest ye be judged." Guess they never learned that lesson, eh? :)
You made me snot on my sleeping 2yr old! Thank you for the very kind and scary comment :D
DeleteI love you. Best blog post ever. End of story :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, preggie! That means a lot! I hope you're doing good:)
DeleteOh don't get me started, I already left a muchtoolong comment on your personal FB page about this.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish the internet would just go away.
Even though I am a blogger, I do.
These comments are made by people who can hide behind their computers and why people say this in person, is beyond me.
What happened to manners? Common courtesy?
I wanna go back to the good old days where manners were taught in school, texting, computers and cell phones were gone and MTV still played videos.
Yes, I can't let THAT go.
Love you bunches, friend.
You know i'm with you :) And if we did run away to the wild, we would die quickly :D But holy poop- i love what you said. You're awesome and we need to be neighbors. I love you!!!
DeleteCouple of things:
ReplyDeleteBullying is a term commonly used for minors. There becomes a point where adults are harassing one another.
On the brighter side, if we didn't have all these people walking around with planks in their eye, the bible wouldn't be true...and we definitely need it to be true.
It's not a media problem. It's a love (lack of) problem. Are you loving your neighbor as yourself?
Beautifully put.
DeleteI was a victim of the comments...having 3 kids in 4 years...! My husband was heading to the dr for the "big snip" and I was on the pill again... when baby #3 arrived... so I got the obnoxious remarks... I never understood why do people care...? if I want to have 36 kids...I will! I love your way woth words... you are truely awesome!... as awesome as you can be with all those kids running around.... haha..
ReplyDeleteNicely done :D 4 of ours were 18m-2yrs apart and that got remarks, and then little miss surprise 5yrs later- now my Mom keeps asking when #6 is coming. But i'm just chubby. It's WINTER, dang it.
DeleteAmen!! Just amen...coz you said exactly what I wanted to say!!
ReplyDeleteThank you- i really appreiate you reading!
DeleteAmen! Bullying seems to never stop, whether you're a child, teenager, college student, professional or mother. It's sad and I think social media has a HUGE part to play in it now. We are able to constantly compare what everyone else is doing; is it good enough? Is it cool enough? Are you rich enough? Is your wedding nice enough? Are you kids dressed stylish enough? It never ends. Great post
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comment and thoughts on it! Dang i just want to raise my kids to know there is more to life than material things, and that kindness and loving others is more important than anything else!
DeleteThere's a fine line between expressing opinions and being a bully, depending on who you ask. Our culture is so saturated with gossip and judgement, especially of celebs that we all kind of get caught up just by sharing our opinions. I don't even want to weigh in on anything serious for fear of retaliation. By the way, I liked the comment above about the terms bullying and harassment. However, press and media sell. Celebrities/reality stars are selling themselves and their brand. That's how commercialism works. Anyone who puts themselves in front of the public is risking the scrutiny of their actions exponentially. Being cruel and hateful is something completely different. *On a side note, I'm now questioning whether my own comments about this are cruel and insensitive. Geez. This is a tough one to comment on... Great post though. Good food for thought.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you're saying - and i obviously don't want my blog or this post to turn into the very thing i meant it to be against! It's a really AAAAAH topic and can go wrong so easily- your comment is thoughtful! Though provoking- you know what i mean. You say things wisely with thought put into it and i appreciate that! It's just a messy dang topic. I smacked a bees nest with my saggy boobs today i guess:) Thank you for commenting!
DeleteThanks Mom. That was Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Denise!
DeleteDo you need a hug? ((bighug))
ReplyDeleteYou're right, this happens all the time and we're all guilty no doubt. Thanks for calling it. I will do my very best to never do it again.... I try very hard not to but nobody is perfect.
Totally talking to myself in this post girl!
DeleteLove this!! It's crazy to me that people hardly take the time to say a kind word to one another in public, when "bullying" like you described here is so commonplace. In the last 7 months I've gotten an INSANE amount of pushy this-is-the-right-way-to-do-it advice and overbearing "opinions" about how I'm raising MY baby, and all it does is confuse me and stress me out! How 'bout throwing out a little encouraging word now and then because, hello people, being a mom can be mad discouraging!! And the only thing that's been helpful thus far is the occasional "you're doing a great job" comment. That's my soapbox this morning :) Ha. This is awesome and I adore you.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite are helpful comments from people who don't have children but do babysit. Lordy. Wait, was that mean? crap :D Anyway, for real - I KNOW I DO IT TOO, and i want to stop and be encouraging and nice. And you're doing an awesome job with that little peanut!
DeleteAwesome! You are so right!
ReplyDeleteYOU are. You. :D
DeleteAwesome! You are so right!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! You are so right!
ReplyDeleteI found you because of Somewhat Sane Mom! I am so glad she shared you! I love what you wrote here. It resonates with me so much. Where do people think the kids are learning the bullying from? They are learning it from their very own parents. I hate being judged because I am that messy house mom. People think because I am a SAHM I have all the time in the world to clearn my house. When the reality is, I get about 2 hours a day to work on things. And we all know it takes a lot longer to actually CLEAN a house. Otherwise I am running the little guy to this that or the other activity and then after school the two bigs have practices and games in various sports through out the year. The bigs help out with chores on the weekend, but still. We live here. It's just life. I know there are people with clean houses. I say good for them! I am not going to judge them for being clean. Thats great! Thank you for pointing out this major problem in our society.
ReplyDeleteMy house is still trashed. Good golly. And i always think that same thing- those kids are learning it at home as well as schools or whatever...this post truly starts with me, i really am changing how we talk and joke! I won't get it right all the time, but i just want to really work on how i personally can just say things before i even think! Anyway, you are really kind and thanks for the comment!
DeleteGosh, don't you think you are using too many fonts in one post? I don't think good bloggers do that. And, having said that to you, I TOTALLY feel better about myself as a blogger.
ReplyDeleteI do love fonts:)
DeleteI cannot begin to tell you how bullied and sad I have been lately... I pray for bullies, because one day, I will get over my sadness... clearly they never have.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! It's ridiculous how people can be...it's an awful thing what words can do to someone- and again, i am talking to myself too, i want to be a better person and influence on others! Hold that head up mama, you're awesome!
DeleteThis post deserves an award because it is spot on. Spot on. I have encountered my own bullying and i've only been blogging for about 6 months. It's sad that women have to pick on each other. I admire you so much for being brave enough to post about this because it is a real problem.
ReplyDeleteWord up girl. You know i love you as do many other people out there- you are REAL and awesome and anyone who picks on you deserves dysentery.
DeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with everything you said.
Someone recently left a comment on my blog saying " wow, you are 25 and have 2 kids? I didn't have my first until I was 35." I don't get why it's anyone else's business how many kids you have and at what age.
People should seriously think before they speak.
It's really weird what people feel free to say! And internet is like...well, you can kinda tell there's a "tone" with certain things. It doesn't have to be that way and i wish people would think before commenting or whatever. There are apparently a buttload of angry women out there. I feel sorry for them that they feel they need to attack everyone to feel important!
DeleteI LOOOOVE this post! Wouldn't SUPPORTING each other as mamas do so much more good??? I'm a single mom who's heard some of that crap (said to my face, as well as behind my back) and it takes its toll! Thank goodness for those wonderful friends who support you, as well as the mamas in the store who share the "been-there-done-that" nod over screaming kids. :) Thanks for sharing this, sweetie. Really!!
ReplyDeleteI second everything you said, girl! It's like people don't understand that even as adults, words can hurt someone terribly- and believe me, again, i am saying that to myself. I'm trying to control my big fat mouth too:)
DeleteI LOVE LOVE LOVE this. I couldn't agree with you more!
ReplyDeleteThank you! And thanks for stopping in:)
DeleteGreat post! Bullying is way too prevalent, but as long as we know that we are doing the best we can, mean words should just roll off our backs. But what about mommy cliques? What about when a group of mommy friends excludes another mom--and her child!--in a public setting? That can be more hurtful than just words. I wrote about a friend's experience here: http://meanmommy1.blogspot.com/2013/01/meeean-mommies.html
ReplyDeleteJust saw this now, like months and months later - because I'm horrible at blogging:D I'll definitely check it out!
DeleteI just learned that you disappeared off of twitter - it's a crying shame. I think you're a great, funny person and have always enjoyed reading your stuff and bantering back and forth with you. All the best to you - and if you ever come back, @ me repeatedly!
ReplyDeleteOh MAH word, well I will! I totally miss it like a secret stash of candy:) I miss reading yours! You're awesome and you'll be the first person I re-stalk.
Delete